Our Mental Health, Our Sanctuary: A Reflection in 4 Parts

​

---

​During my time as a Montessori intern, my first task was to set up a 3-6 classroom environment. It was a maze of cardboard boxes, wooden trays, empty shelves, plastic bins, and Montessori materials. My goal was to create a developmental classroom tailored to the sensitivities of the first-plane child. Although it initially felt overwhelming, I grew to love preparing these environments over the years. The precision and order appealed to my Virgo brain and calmed my nervous system. I realized these environments were like extensions of myself, physical spaces where I could honor my culture, passions, and unique sensibilities.
The more chaotic our world became, the more I found solace in spending each day in a place where everything had a place and a research-based rationale for being there. I could leave at the end of the day, flip the light switch, look back at a well-organized space, and know it would be untouched upon my return.
In our Montessori prepared environments, we create spaces that invite open and complex discussions on topics such as love, war, sex, religion, and politics. These discussions occur in primary, elementary, and secondary classrooms, making these spaces rich and occasionally messy. Here, limits are pushed, prejudices are revealed, boundaries get crossed, and teachers are certainly not exempt from contributing to its messiness.


“We cannot fully create effective movements for social change if individuals struggling for that change are not also self-actualized or working towards that end. When wounded individuals come together in groups to make change, our collective struggle is often undermined by all that has not been dealt with emotionally.”                                                                                                                                                       -bell hooks
I remember the first time I cried in my classroom; it was the day I attempted to solve a conflict but instead came face to face with my own bias.  I was triggered by a little girl with ponytails and a wide-eyed boy, and both children looked like me. It forced me to acknowledge my elementary school trauma and explore how I carried it in my body and teaching practice.  On that day, I had become both the oppressed and the oppressor.


During this second week of National Minority Mental Health Awareness Month, I’m reflecting on the psychological harm that can take place in our beautiful, aesthetically pleasing Montessori environments.
I share this memory here, amongst friends because it marks a pivotal moment in my teaching career and shaped how I live out my cosmic task.  It’s when my clinical training took its rightful place in my teaching practice and I learned the importance of radical truth-telling and the unique ways somatic healing and social justice are in conversation.  For me, not only was I to follow the lesson and follow the child, but my lived experiences and background positioned me for the highly sensitive and specialized work of an equity practitioner. It’s not a role for the faint of heart.
I don’t believe this level of critical analysis is happening in our Montessori teacher education programs. However, this is what I imagine for us. I see Montessorians working to truly embody the level of justice and self-refinement embedded in Montessori philosophy. I see all of this activated by our commitments to our own mental health and well-being.
When we center our mental health and wellness, we lay the foundations for communities of critical consciousness and care.  These are the sanctuaries that we need at the soul level.  Our primary task as individuals becomes preparing our interior lives and bringing them into order. From there,  we can clear away the irrational angst that pits our Montessori organizations against each other, thereby preventing the growth of the broader Montessori movement.  No matter how big the institutional budget, how fancy the website, how pristine your classroom space, and even if you’ve never had to substitute a pencil eraser when your tiniest pink tower cube went missing, Montessori environments can only be as beautiful as what’s inside the hearts and minds of the adults who prepare them.
These are the sanctuaries I strive to curate in my Montessori practice.